Dec 1, 2011

Of journals and nostalgia…

There is something about reading old journals or dairies and nostalgia, isn’t it?
While they all take us on a good nostalgic trip, the journals also remind us of what we were back when we wrote them…

Like how I am feeling right now as I am reading my journal (blog) which I wrote when I was 25….

All the songs I liked back then which I don’t like anymore, my opinions on many important things around which have obviously changed in all these  years, the things I was attached to and which do not mean a thing to me anymore, the kind of problems I had in life back then which look like child’s play now, the things that hurt me and made me cry don’t mean the same anymore…

The 25-yr-old-me thought that -

JKR would keep writing Harry Potter novels
I would be valuing the colour-wire-bracelet that the best friend made for me in the Basic Electronics Lab when I was in college
The transistor I stole from the Electronics lab would be with me forever, for all the great conversations I had with friends after stealing it
I would not ever throw away the pyjamas that I wore when lil Bro got his job
Those huge pile of Hero pens that Dad got for me claiming he ordered them to be flown in from China
And all those memories of college that I cherished and stored away so deep in my heart
I would never get over not being in the lives of some very important friends

Yes, she thought they would stay forever where they were.

And then the Law of Impermanence happened.

5 years thence, a much-more matured me will say that these things have all passed. I don’t have any of these saved anywhere. Not the Hero pens, nor the bracelets nor the pyjamas. Or the memories related to any of these. Somewhere in all these years, something snapped. I stopped holding onto these.

This person now thinks that all these have had their time, they were much loved and cherished during their day, but it was time to let go of them. They meant a lot when they were in my heart, but then their presence in my life was to end there… That’s just till where I was to have them in life. All those things, and all those people also.

As I was reading a post I wrote back in March 2006 talking about practising The Art of Letting Go, when I felt a myriad of emotions at having to move from a place I called my home for 2 yrs, my bachelor-pad to a place that would be my home forever , I couldn’t help but think of how much I’ve changed over these years. Heck, even my style of writing, the things I write about, my language , all of these have changed.

2 comments:

  1. It is interesting, isn't it? Five years seem such a short time, but it is huge actually huge in terms of the changes that we go through. I wonder if 20 - 25 changed at the same pace as 25 - 30...

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  2. No... atleast for me, there is a huge change from 25-30 than in 20-25. The former is almost adult age, latter is still adoloscent :)

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