Tea & Dark Chocolate

[Continued from Part 1 ] Yes, I felt like this till I saw the house of our dreams. (There were quite a few of 'my dream house' over the years we spent real-estate window shopping, which was soon becoming into a bad hobby we had to get rid of, but this place was from both our dreams. Till then, the husband and I hadn't agreed upon a single house/apartment. We both never liked the same stuff). This house was perfect - it was a cozy little place with 3 bedrooms, a balcony that overlooked greenery and nothingness, a kitchen large enough to actually have a small kitchen table for the husband to sit on and eat the Dosas I so enjoyed making, rooms big enough to enable us to have separate work areas... you know, everything a newly married couple looked for, in a house and it was our own. (except that we weren't newly married anymore by then, though life hadnt really changed in that department, but more on that later). We suddenly accumulated a lot more stuff than we imagined...

I tend to do this, associate the phases of life with where I stayed then. That also helps me remember where I met a specific person in my life, and how the phase I was in has impacted my friendship with that person. It also helps me remember how I was doing career-wise back then. As a 19 year old when I came to Hyderabad the first time and saw the city, I knew this was going to be home. It was love at first sight - the broad beautiful roads, the still-upcoming flyovers, the language spoken in the city, and not to forget, the beautiful view of Charminar I had at 5 AM in the morning among floodlights. I knew I was going to move here and this was where home would be. I didn't bother to think about marriage, career, education or anything at all. Hyderabad was home, that's all.

Roots... this is something that has always had my interest. No, not the kind that trees/plants have. Or the kind that grow out of your head and show your age. The kind which makes you feel like you belong to something - a place, a human being, a time period , a culture group or anything at all. Of all these categories, I feel I've had the most trouble being at peace with 'the place'. The question - "Where are you from?" always catches me off guard. Anywhere abroad, I can get away with "Am from India" and most people wouldn't ask me another question. But anything more granular than this, and I stumble... I have trouble telling where I am from . [ Image Courtesy - Google Maps ]

The past couple of weeks have been a mess. I screwed up a major holiday plan, because oh well, I was over-confident about my planning ability. I realized the f**k-up on the day we were supposed to have travelled, and so we cancelled the tickets. I thought I'd cry, because I had wasted a ton of money, and called the husband in the hope that he'd yell at me, and I can then cry. I wanted to cry. No, he didn’t yell. And I laughed about the screw-up with a bunch of good friends over some rum, and life was good. But I realized I hadn't cried at all. Not a single tear, at what was otherwise a very anticipated, and could've been a great holiday. I also didn’t cry over the money I lost, and at around midnight, in the middle of all the laughing I started crying. Or an attempt to cry. Again, no tears. That’s when a friend pointed out that the reason I wasn’t able to cry, probably was because the husband was being supportive, and hasn’t yelled at me even once! The minute I realized...

I think nesting is in our genes. We, as women, are genetically inclined to nest. To create a nice, cozy home where we can fuss around with our family and friends. There is something incredibly relaxing about returning home and putting your feet up on your couch. It is extremely fulfilling to whip up meals for your near and dear amidst friendly banter. And it is contentment you feel as you relax in your favorite spot with a book in hand or sit in your balcony with a cup of tea or a drink in hand. The mere fact that I feel all the above makes me feel that I am indeed a woman. I like all the above things. I like my space to be all the above. And that’s when it becomes home for me. And home is the most comfortable place for me. It is one of the primal needs for a human, according to me. Food, Sex and Home are the most important things that drive many of our behaviors and it’s the way its evolution intended it to be. Good so far. It’s the rest of the stuff that comes with nesting that...

  Next month, I and the husband hit our 6th wedding anniversary. Its nice being married this long, especially when you have not thought you’d do it yourselves. More so, when you both knew it was a gamble you were taking on and had even told that to yourselves and each other. Being as different as chalk and cheese apart, sustaining a marriage this long with serious full time careers, pursuing independent hobbies, having enough space between each other, and still finding time to spend with each other is a big deal. At least for those of us who are commitment-phoebes even after having being married, i.e.., the two of us in this household. Also, any two people who have no reason to be together except that they want to be and hence are. Well, now you can now imagine how elated I feel every time we hit an anniversary. We made it to another year. With our head and heart intact. And sane too. A big big big deal! Like I said, its nice being married this long. You would’ve shared all sto...

  I was chatting with this friend, and telling her how its been 6 yrs that I’ve been married, and how the husband used to be a poet back then. Also that he is still a poet, just that the poetry has always been confined to one set of women – Anyone who is not a wife. In fact , he has been exercising all forms of art that I married him for, for this same set of women. Great, no? :) During this chat session, I remembered a blog post I wrote on the eve of my first anniversary, almost 5 yrs back. I read it, and chuckled at how I wrote all that I wrote, and how that is all true. Well, there is tonnes of mush in that post which I will cut back for your benefit, but then, well… even that mush part also is still true… ;-). Now that you’ve barfed enough, here is what I wrote 5 yrs back… Long ago, someone wrote a nice poem to woo me, something which no one did for me ever. Though I understood that the poet is obsessed with tans and tanned beauties, which I am obviously not, I obliged to h...

  I read this quote somewhere and its so awesome that it deserves to go on my blog - Always carry the photo of your boyfriend in your wallet. Look at it whenever you face any problem. This makes you realise that there are bigger problems in life. Shall we change the word ‘boyfriend’ to husband, coz I am past that stage in life? Now anyone wants to take a wild guess on whether I have the husband’s pic in my wallet or not? ;-)